(A quick disclaimer, this post isn't technically about design, but it is about parenting and writing, which is a kind of design no?)
|Robbie, my second, at 2 days old.|
You know what, I do find it exhilarating and rewarding, especially today writing this as I am after a birthday party for said 3 year old. And as much work and cooking as was involved, nothing could match the joy and rapture that was evident on his face when a roomful of people were singing him Happy Birthday. These are the moments that make it worth it ten-fold.
This is the point though, they are moments. When washing crap out of underpants or trying to make dinner with a 1 year old clinging to your leg and whinging for the food you are trying to make - please tell me which of those moments I should be relishing.
Or the difficulty trying to find a part-time job in my industry. To the point where I have decided to start my own business to ensure I work the hours I want and get to spend at least half the working week with my boys. OK so this is a decision I have made, but I feel I have no choice if I want to stay in the career I started, and put your hands up who reckons starting your own biz with 2 kids under 4 is a good idea? I don't see this leading to blissful rewards and endless exhilaration anytime soon. Eventually, maybe, but you have to have goals yeah?
The above articles both showcase very different experiences, and this is what needs to be remembered, we will all have our very own, unique experience of this parenting gig. Some people will take to it like a duck to water and never look back. Others will find each day as difficult as the last and wonder how they would get through it were it not for the loving embrace of their child.
It would be interesting to see another article by Jacinta Tynan in 6 months time. Or after she has another child if she is so inclined. I also remember how blissful a nine month old is, by himself. An excerpt: "I know our baby boy is only nine months old and isn't even crawling yet, let alone tearing through the house crashing pots on to the floor. I know I only have one child who is healthy and I, thankfully, escaped the cruel curse of postnatal depression, but still I can't see what all the fuss is about." Jacinta Tynan 'Is motherhood really that hard', Sunday Age, 2nd August 2010.
Nine month old. One child. 'Easy' baby. No post-natal depression. Already back at work after paid maternity leave*. Sounds pretty good to me, esp the no PND part. Too many people I know (myself included) have gone through enough feelings of despair after having children without having to be told that "hey it's really not all that bad is it?", way to make us feel better.
I found Jo Case's article more relate-able. And I will be checking out her reading list, namely "The Mask of Motherhood" by Susan Maushart and "The Feminine Mystique" by Betty Friedan, and from her descriptions, I should have read these some time ago. From Case's article: "Maushart explained motherhood can be painful and crazy-making, but that doesn't mean you don't love your child. This permission to mourn my loss of self was also my gateway to slowly regaining it." It's nice to know it's not just me.
Wow was this ever a ranty post. Feeling much better now! Got anything you want to get off your chest? Feel free...
* From Jo Case article